i deserve to be made out with and touched inappropriately right now goddammit
Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”
And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”
this man has been decapitated and all you have to say is “physics!”??? wow….
do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”
We’re manly men. We fight in wars, we play sports, we drive noisy cars. We’re tough.
We’re terrified of body hair on women though.
And menstrual blood.
and womens farts
and being perceived as feminine in any way.
and gay men.
and women capable of fighting back.
and women having sexual desire
laughing cow cheese huh?
I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH
you don’t kill a cow
to make cheese
this is literally my favorite
sam high on meds was the best
you finally sneak into the dragon’s cave and find his treasure chest. you open it and there is just a macaroni drawing by the dragon’s son.
“ITS TREASURE TO MEEEEE” the dragon bellows
I was collecting the voice files from Disney Infinity when I noticed that Elsa’s are arranged and performed in a rather…amusing way.
Performed by Idina Menzel herself
excuse me, can i get a couple of ice cubes in here please
sure, a couple of ice cubes coming up!
here you go
hhaah… april fools!!!!
WHAT DID YHYOU DDO TO MY DRINK???!?!?!?!?
you asksed for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and i only put in one!!!
i guess that is pretty funny
just takin a selfie :))